#50 YOU GOTTA ILLUSTRATE YER NEUROSIS, MAN

“I just don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.” –Woody Allen

(paraphrasing Groucho Marx, who may or may not have been paraphrasing Freud)

(Preamble/Prologue/Sidenote: I realize that this post is like, what? almost a month late or something.  I could heehaw about how “I got busy” and “I don’t have a scanner” and “my dog ate my laptop” and wah wah wah, but you don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to write it [even if I just did] so let’s just skip it, eh? I’ll be better next time, I swear, I’m good fer it!)

I know what you’re thinking:  Regan Smith? Neurosis? Get right outta town. But the fact is, despite my regular calm, cool exterior, I am–like dear, disgusting Woody Allen up there–actually quite neurotic some of the time.

So, like any other dog-fearing citizen (seriously, my dog ate my laptop, if that isn’t a reason to be more afraid of canines than god then I don’t know what is), I’ve decided to deal with my neuroticisms by exposing them, and myself, in the form of SOME TOTALLY CRAPPY COMICS!!

There are a lot of these actually, but here are the ones I managed to scan at work before one of my fifteen bosses decided to come back from the bathroom like a weirdo. Things I will ask you to kindly disregard:

-Pencil lines (there are many)

-Repeated words (I have brain aneurysms)

-Poor scanning (it’s not my fault. realz)

ONE COMEEK, Ah Ah Ah:

I worry about becoming a stagnant, directionless, boring old biddy more often than is normal for a 23 year old semi-beboppin bitch.

TWO COMEEKS, Ah Ah Ah:

I obsess over people who are insanely talented in music, art, writing, etc. even though they probably all eat oatmeal for breakfast and go to bed at nine. Lameoids.

THREE COMEEKS! Ah Ah Ah:

I don’t think the internet likes me that much. It checked maybe on the Valetines “Bee Mine” Nasonex Bee card I gave it.

Coming up next week? Something great. Trust.

 

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2 Responses to #50 YOU GOTTA ILLUSTRATE YER NEUROSIS, MAN

  1. Timma [duh] says:

    You do not understand how much I identify with the first and third comics. The second one I don’t get: Who is Karen, and if you are Karen, then why are you Justin Bieber?

    Anyways, yeah, I am MAN in the library. I try to pull it off by telling people that I “work at the U” but then they never fail to ask me “oh, what do you do?” and I have to be like, “libraryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy [sigh].” Nobody wants to be friends/bone with a GUY who works at the library. True story.

    I’m gonna start telling people I am a ghost hunter.

    And these comments right here should show you how I identify with the third comic, because I think I am funny and I am not.

    Anyways, keep em coming, Reganomics.

    • regan52 says:

      Tim Tam!

      Her name is Karen O (the wheel is an “O,” don’t you see? I’m a great drawrerer, don’t you tell me I’m not!!) and she is the lead singer of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs who are a band who are awesome and so is she and I maybe have a crush on her a lot.

      I am glad you sympathize with my librarian woes. I totally do the same thing when people ask where I work. Note, however, I’m not against library jobs in general, just ones that have no meaning and very little human interaction. Like mine. But at least I have two offices! Dank and humorless, yes, but two is better than one or none.

      And, you are funny. Both the internet fairy and I agree.

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